Hey boy I see you slide into my DMs
Late in the night treating me like ampm
Know what? Come to think of it I’ve had a bit more fun ever since I went and dyed my hair blonde

A guy at the party asked me girl, is it natural?
Like your mom’s tits! I replied... that ain’t factual
It took more dough than a bakery would know what to do with so I’m broke, but I got the looks to prove it

And fuck the patriots
And fuck the patriarchy
Yeah I could give a shit about you and your Tom Brady
I had a blast here at your Super Bowl Party
I’m sorry I’m not as much fun as I used to be

I don’t wonder why they talk
I just wonder what they say (x2)

I’ve encountered this phenomena every which direction
where boys talk at me and don’t ask any questions
and I’m wondering how to handle it these boys are so oblivious and I am busy I ain’t got no time for it

Ya know I don’t give a shit about your boring-ass story but your face is hella pretty and I’m really horny
I can only nod my head so much before my neck cries out in pain,
“leave this loser, get you a man with…”

SOCIAL SKILLS! We don’t all have ‘em!
I need a boy to sweep me off my feet like Aladin
Make me feel like i’m flying in the clouds like Jasmin
Like hey boy I can show you my world, sit down and listen

Cuz I’ve got so much shit to say, but I sit down to write it out and *poof* it floats away
Like my dreams are too ephemeral to live inside a pencil
They get tossed around the wind so I got good at listening

And fuck the patriots
And fuck the patriarchy
I root for Philadelphia because I like cream cheese
I had a blast here at your Super Bowl Party
I'm sorry I'm not as much fun as I used to be

As I used to be, as I used to be, was I ever?
I don't wonder why they talk, I just wonder what they say... (x2)

How picky do I need to be?
I ask myself as he talks incessantly
Yeah he’s cute and he went to an Ivy League
And likes dogs and his mom and photography

But I’m concerned about his use of apostrophes
And if he can use their and there correctly
and oh no! did he just use the word pussy to mean weak?
If I kicked you in the balls right now boy you’d scream

There’s no debate which could take a pounding
And if you weren’t aware we’re in 2018
More red flags then you’d find in Pyeongchang
If this were the olympics you’d be Russia in the games

Half mast baby cuz you’re dead to me
I’m done fucking boys in their early 20’s
Damn! I ain’t got no time for your immaturity!
I am confident as fuck so fuck your insecurities and…

And fuck the patriots
And fuck the patriarchy
Let's be honest I'm just here to smoke all of your weed
I had a blast here at your Super Bowl Party
I'm sorry I'm not as much fun as I used to be